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Originally published by Stuff. Click here for article.
1 February 2023
By Siobhan Downes
It is an undeniable fact that people have sex in hotel rooms. Though it’s one that is rarely acknowledged by hotels themselves.
Aside from love hotels where the clue is in the name, it seems most five-star establishments would rather plead ignorance to their guests’ amorous activities.
But one high-end hotel has decided to illuminate what goes on between their sheets – and not in a gross UV light investigation kind of way.
For the month of February, QT Hotels & Resorts are offering a special package with an array of inclusions intended to help guests get in the mood.
Dubbed “Do Not Disturb”, the package is available across the hotel chain’s three New Zealand properties, QT Wellington, QT Auckland and QT Queenstown.
I was offered a sneak preview at QT Wellington, which of the three destinations, perhaps radiates the least sexual energy, with its punishing wind, politicians, pipe problems, and other passion-killers (not that I wish to yuck anyone’s yum). In short, it would be an objective review.
As I checked in, I was curious as to what “libido-lifting amenities” would be awaiting me in my room. Would they have installed a Saint Andrews Cross on the bed frame? Would there be complimentary nipple clamps and handcuffs in place of the usual sewing kit and shower cap? It soon became clear what was on offer was a bit more “hen party favour” than “Fifty Shades”.
The room itself was unmodified, though it was rather stimulating to begin with – I was staying in one of the QT Gallery Harbourview King rooms, where the walls have been transformed into works of art.
A bottle of bubbles and a bowl of chocolate-covered strawberries were placed alongside a basket of treats. There were two bottles of “Libido” tonic from New Zealand health drink brand No Ugly, and two fancy chocolates which similarly claimed aphrodisiac properties.
Also nestled in the pink paper was a little bottle of massage oil, and a Lush bath bomb. There was also a card game for couples, offering conversation starters and challenges designed to help you “connect with your partner” (example: “let me run an ice cube across your body until it completely melts”).
Included in the package are two “love potion” vouchers to exchange at the hotel bar. At QT Wellington, this is Hippopotamus – a flamboyant watering hole, with its mirrored bar, plush pink furniture, and stuffed peacocks.
A special menu of cocktails (including a non-alcoholic option) have been created for the month. They all feature the same Libido tonic that is in your goodie basket, so you can be confident you’re getting a sufficient dose.
Now, I take my assignments seriously. So once I’d had my fill of philtres, I made my way back to my room, ready to get down to business.
I donned one of the hotel robes and ran myself a bath, tossing in the pink Lush bath bomb. I downloaded the QT app, which navigated me to a special “Q The Mood” playlist (and yes, it does feature Marvin Gaye’s Let’s Get it On).
You can also use the app to order room service. Breakfast in bed is included in the Do Not Disturb package, and you can place your order the night before, to ensure your sexual appetite doesn’t end up being superseded by a more conventional hunger.
It was at that point I remembered all the snacks, untouched in the corner. Better have those before I brush my teeth, I figured, scoffing the strawberries and unwrapping the fancy chocolates.
Next thing I knew, I was flopping down on the bed with a glass of bubbly, reaching for the remote. Sully – that movie based on the plane that miraculously landed on the Hudson River – was on TV.
I couldn’t possibly say what happened next. Not because it’s unsuitable for publication. But because, bloated with chocolate and booze, and soothed by the dulcet tones of Tom Hanks, I fell into a deep, unsexy sleep.
It might not have been the desired effect. But I guess it was still a pretty happy ending.
The Do Not Disturb package is available at QT Wellington, QT Auckland and QT Queenstown for the month of February, visit qthotels.com for rates and to book.